do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
