He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
