i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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