Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize