either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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