Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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