I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
You are a booty call, not a friend.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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