i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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