Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I licked your asshole in confidence.
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