My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
