Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
