You work out of a Hotel?
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
