There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I have so many feelings about this burrito
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
