Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Randomize
