Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
