Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
This is my gift to your gina
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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