just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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