I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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