the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Are we still banned from the library?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
