I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
