Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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