apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
