The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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