So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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