don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
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