I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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