What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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