R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
