my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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