The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he thought i was a dude.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
