i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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