we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
