You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
