Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
