i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
