I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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