Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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