how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
