it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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