Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
