I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize
