She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
