Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
