either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
