Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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