there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
