it hurts more in the daytime
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
