Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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