Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
