Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
