So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
