i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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