You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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