i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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