I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize