Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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