Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
