GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
do nipples grow back?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
