would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
