Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
