You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
