Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
