I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
