I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize
