Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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