So drunk its hurt
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
