If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
