Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
