1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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